Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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