There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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