dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
barbara walters just said penis...
where am i from again
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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