you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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