My first STD was from a foam party
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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