Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
