this boner is exhausting
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
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