farters have to be the big spoon...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
