no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
