His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
