so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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