His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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