Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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