he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
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Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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