The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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