Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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