his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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