Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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