I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
