You made me cry and you don't even care
just tell him i said nine months
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
