chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize