i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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