i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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