is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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