On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
