I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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