i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
