I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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