I didn't shave. On purpose
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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