k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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