But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
