i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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