Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
