JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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