The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize