i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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