He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
