mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
