Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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