there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
