Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
