Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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