Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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