dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
