he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
