Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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