wanna go halves on a baby?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize