I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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