when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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