i think i have herpe
just one?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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