Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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