Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
