she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize