My first STD was from a foam party
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
high people should be assigned attendants
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
