i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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