How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
