Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize