remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think a kid would responsible me up
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
