How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
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I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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