I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
