Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
