I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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