all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're like the curious george of whores
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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